Repose.

Finding purpose can be hard. Finding focus too.
When one finds themselves disenchanted from the rat race, it doesn't just leave a hole for your focus, it leaves a buzzing vibration.
It leaves directionless energy
The horrible buzzing of a thousand restless motivations.
Just because it doesn't feel worth it to seek success or purpose with your art in the ways you know, doesn't make that yearning any less intense.
The dull ache of "what do I do with all this me I want to express?"
The dull ache of "what do I do when it feels like doing so is meaningless"

find
new
meaning

I had decided to retire my old artistic branding and step away from creative output until it felt like it had any value other than validation, profit, and feeding the ever present advertiser funded algorithm machine. I needed new purpose, something that felt like it had a real impact that wouldn't be swiped away and lost in the endless chasm of social media feeds.
Then, in quick succession, Gaza, and my exposure to local community fridges.
A vast universe of difference in perceptive violence, but sharing the same fundamental roots and violence.

When we decide not to care about human being, we are complicit in the suffering
When we decide not to care about human being, we are complicit in their suffering
When we decide not to care about human being, we are complicit in our suffering

...and we are suffering. We all bear the weight of the profit focused abandonment of our fellow humans, fellow animals, fellow carbon-based life of all shapes and sizes. We have all been conditioned to sell our humanity to a myriad of devils, known and unknown to us.

Convinced "that's just how it is" or that the absolutely unearned horrors so many experience is justified or worse, earned and deserved. So quickly we get to decide who is worthy of compassion and base it on a whole spectrum of self-serving justifications.

"There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, so why bother?"

Because while we consume convenience, human life is consumed for it.

"There's nothing we can do"

There is everything we can do. What we can't do is all of it by ourselves.

I can't stop bombs from falling onto children in Gaza, directly.
I can educate myself and others on the history and violence.
I can support BDS efforts, I can financially support groups providing support in the area. I can be aware and spread that awareness.

I can't stop poverty and food insecurity in my hometown.
I can find and support community fridges, I can learn what skills and resources are lacking and either learn myself or connect skilled people to those areas, I can spread awareness of resources and systems that can help bring people up, and provide security.

I can't do everything.
I can do something.

and I started doing that.
and when I did, the dull ache lessened. The energy directed. The buzz quieted down. The purpose appeared.
Suddenly,
Art didn't have to be for algorithms, it could be for understanding.
Art didn't have to be for validation, it could be for collective growth.
Art didn't have to be for profits, it could be for people.

the suffering
their suffering
our suffering

I can do something.
It
can be
new
meaning

Please check out the new "Repose Resource" page. For a long time Ive wanted to build an information resource hub for mutual aid projects, open source materials, and education to help foster a sense of collective community and give us all an opportunity to grow and explore new artistic and intellectual growth.
All is for the All
- E