Under

I remember Up

Up and all of its inexhaustible continuity
The deep, devoted color only occasionally interrupted by the unreachable caelestis dotted throughout its expanse.

I am Under.
I've been here a while.

The Up of Under is of equal devotion, but absolutely exhausted
and exhausting.
The Up here is calculable and finite. The fractures and pock marks and tints of grey can all be categorized and labeled, named and memorized.
Reliable.

I remember unreliable.

Unreliable was so much.
So much to see and do and contend with.
So many to perceive and comprehend and understand and interact with
Too vibrant to calculate
Too broad to optimize
A legion of possibility
An empire of texture

I am below.

Below has edges and curves
Below has sharp points and friction
I can feel them
I know them

My back asks for readjustment against the cold cement
My thighs request repositioning away from the harsh surface
My neck wants for movement just to know it remains capable to do so

I politely decline.

I look down.

I close my eyes.
I can still see the same
For I know it never will change
For I know that Under will remain Under
For I know
For I know

But I remember Up.