7 Days Walking

[Through my backyard]

Inspiration

I've been struggling with creative motivation on and off for a while now, and though the highs and dopamine drives of the cycle are dramatic and wonderful, it leaves a void of variable duration in between. In these times I'm left to sink into the imposter syndrome and questions of purpose and value.
On a whim in an effort to give my attention deficit brain something novel to explore, I did an search online for a cheap m42 macro lens to use on my 35mm Mamiya cameras. For about $40US I found this (above) and hit a jackpot.

The INDUSTAR-50-2 is a USSR era half frame camera lens, this particular version being hand-modified with an INDUSTAR-104 lens creating an m42 mount f2.8/28mm super-macro lens.

I wasn't sure exactly what to expect other than "macro" (that's cool) and "commie-lens" (also cool) but what I didn't expect was that the lens's ideal and only focused frame is from the size of a quarter to the size of a nickel.

This was novel, and interesting, and forced me to work in an incredibly specific environment.

I set a goal, to both appreciate this lens, but also to push myself creatively to get the motivation firing properly.

7 Days.
7 Images.
7 New Experiences.

For sake of ease and testing, I utilized my m42-FX adapter to use this vintage lens on my Fuji XT-4 digital camera. I'll explore this lens on film in the very near future, but this was about removing barriers to ambitions and just getting motivated.

So, without further delay -

Monday

As the local unofficial home for wayward kitties in my rural town, I'm in my yard everyday with my mourningberb checking on the hungry little ones of our neighborhood looking for a snack and a safe place to nap. Seemed like the perfect place to find something low effort to photography. I was absolutely blown away seeing dandelion and lilac at such a close view for the first time. The tendrils of dandelion and the leather-esque texture of lilac pedals gave me an immediate appreciation for the world of intrigue I have been oblivious to for an entire lifetime. This immediately made me excited for the next morning.

Tuesday
There had been some remnants of last years rose heads sitting in front of my house since last season that I had been intrigued by every time I passed them. This seemed the perfect opportunity to capture them. Alongside this, I took a moment to really appreciate the intricate detailing of the new leaves. How thick and deep they curve compared to other leaves. I wondered what evolutionary advantage this offered the plant over other options. Suddenly, my photography efforts we're building botanical curiosity.

Wednesday
Wednesday was a rough morning. A bad mental health day, after a bad sleep. Minimal effort, minimal spoons, and minimal ambition. I didn't want to fail my motivations two days in, so I quickly lit the Rex Begonia in my kitchen and snapped a photo. Later in the day after some sunlight and coffee I reviewed the photo and marveled at not only the color textures of this plant, but I took a moment to appreciate that I bought this tropical plant 3 years ago and it has lived through the Winters AND propagated into several other independently thriving plants. Resiliency this plant possesses, I wish to unlock.
(Also, I realized just how shallow the depth of field is when this lens is at f2.8! Important limitations/assets to consider for future shooting.

Thursday
Alas, for some beauty of this world exists to teach us the folly of our ways. I bought this beautiful dark leaf, red flowered impatiens from a local nursery only to allow the humid smolder of my veranda swiftly bring it to an untimely end. My apologies, my little goth plant. In demise, the intricacies of your structure will live on within the digital garden until the cosmic supernova destroys digital history and returns us all to nature wherein we belong. These photos are particularly inspiring. The mood and almost eldritch composition of this plant tingles the ominous parts of my mind.

Friday
A sunny morning returns us to the yard and the furry edges of this mint growing at the back of the property. The fan-like shaping of these leaves are incredibly interesting and I'd like to take photos of them with a more geometric framing in mind in the future. The white blossoms of the high bush cranberry are such a cool contrast to the vibrant red cherries I photographed earlier in the year as part of my hoarfrost series. Again, these flowers are the size of a dime. Beautiful.

Saturday
Mourningberb informed me on Friday night that their Iris's had begun opening and that I should make an effort to capture them. Thusly, Saturday morning we found our way to the back of the yard to see how they were doing. The now open Iris that greeted us offered up an incredible view into its fluffy hafts(?) and the intricacy of its vibrant yellow beard(?). The yet to open Iris contrasted this with a flowing, layered request for 5 more minutes, mom.

Sunday
I woke up Sunday morning to the sound of rain. It had been raining a lot lately, and while I've always been a huge fan of the smell and look of a gloomy, grey day, I was offered a sunny morning storm and the moment the rain let up enough to step outside I ran to the caraganas on the North side of my house, as through my bedroom window I had already seen these leaves holding onto dew drops as if bejeweled in hydrant splendor. What an absolutely beautiful denouemont to my week of exploration and effort to find new inspiration. Just as the rain hydrated and brightens the vibrancy of my yard, I too am brightened in sharing a new perspective on this nature. So often I find myself struggling to create as the expectations I set for myself do not meet my (self appointed) availability and rather than change my expectation, I deflect or distract myself.
This week offered a valuable reminder that art is not something that comes with expensive gear, nor validation obligations, nor a monetary return. Art can simply be discovering anew something that has been there all along.
Importantly, every person I have shared these photos with has offered their own excitement, intrigue, and ideas for what could be done creatively within this medium. Both what I could do, and what I could do, with them, together. Art has always been about collaboration for me. Collaboration and shared excitement for the possibilities that can exist.

I was gifted the reminder that I am always capable of finding new paths to novelty and creativity.
There is always something inspiring right in front of us, we need only take the moment to seek it.

-e

Seven Days Walking – Ludovico Einaudi

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